Loss & Grief...Tools for Healing
It was a Thursday evening. I had been waiting for my nephew and his wife to let me know if they were stopping by on their way out of SLC, back to Seattle.
Since I had not heard from them, I asked a friend to join me for some dinner. I fixed dinner, I was about to eat when my brother called in from VT.
He asked me if I had heard about what happened with Sean (my nephew). I said “no, what’s up?” He said he had had a ski accident...I stood from the table and said “how is he?” He then told me he had passed. I fell to the floor!
I screamed “no, no, no”!!! The shock hit me like a wave of disbelief and panic. I wanted to run...as I did when my dad suddenly passed and 9-11 hit....but I did not. I wailed, cried, took some aminos, did not eat, then walked with my friend. He held space for me. I am so grateful to him for this!
The last year and a half has been a time of much loss and grief in my life. I held my sister’s hand and my dear friend’s hand as they both passed from cancer. My heart ached deeply!
I am learning to get intimately acquainted with death, bringing it in as an ally...to look more closely at the impermanence of life and living life more fully!
As these deaths hurt my soul and broke me open, the death that saddens me the most was the loss of Jay! Jay took his own life from anxiety, depression and addiction. He was not using the tools of self-care, nutrition, amino acid therapy, psychotherapy and spiritual connection. He drank. Got on Adderall. Stopped eating. Lost his way. Bless you Jay, and the many others that have lost their way!
So let’s talk tools for shock, loss and grief.
I will not be giving doses in this article. That is best done with a certified nutrition recovery coach or qualified health care practitioner in brain & mental health nutrition!
Stay connected with a support team: friends, family (if positive for you) health/nutrition recovery coach, therapist, ND etc.
Eat Well...plan your food and meals. The 5 Star Pro-Recovery Diet is the best! Protein, good healthy fats, complex carbs (mostly veggies), clean food organic as much as possible and personalize it for you i.e., what proteins work best for your metabolism and bio-chemistry.
Take supportive supplements and aminos.
Onset of shock: DPA & Total Aminos for endorphin support. Take higher doses first few days, then a maintenance dose for as long as needed. Take
L-tryptophan for anxiety and sleep, gaba or l-theanine for stress & feeling overwhelmed, a good multivitamin, B-complex, extra magnesium, adrenal support, and Omega 3 support or eat more cold water fish.
Get out in nature, move, yoga, qi-gong.
Meditate, journal, create a spiritual practice that serves you and your healing best.
Rest and Relax as often as possible...stress & grief deplete us...relaxation supports us...so staying in the para-sympathetic nervous system (relaxed state) allows for better healing, immune boosting, brain support and digestion to happen.
Feel what you need to feel...do not suppress...feeling moves it through.
I have maintained my health and general well-being with these tools through this journey of loss and grief. These are times when it may be hard to think about our self-care and keep to a wellness plan, but I strongly encourage you do that!
Loss and grief are part of life. Without self-care and good nutrition, they can knock us over, often without a chance to recover. Or, we can take the steps and use tools to navigate the healing journey, so we can make it through with our physical and mental health intact.