Loss...The Waves of Grief & Gratitude
Pain in inevitable but suffering is optional...a Buddhist truth passed on through the ages.
Not sure I can distinguish between the two...when a grief wave hits. When it hits I feel the deepest most intense pain suffering & sorrow... I am somewhat paralyzed.
What I do know is that pain/suffering move like waves. Sometimes they knock you over and sometimes they move more gently across your body and mind.
Watching a loved one die these last few months was often beyond what I thought any human could or should handle. Yet many of us did. We showed up for my sweet beautiful sister, Maryellen, as she entered into the last phase of her time here on earth.
She passed on June 18th.
I was driving when my brother called. I knew it was coming...but the permanence of it hit me like a big wave...knocking me to my knees...as many a waves did growing up swimming in the ocean.
Not holding her hand again, rubbing feet, sharing sister stories, her telling me it would be ok, me telling her it would be ok. I cry as I write these words...my sister use to sing “its alright to cry crying takes the sad out”. She was right on that, on many things I’d say, tears help the pain move! My tears of sorrow are mixed with my tears of gratitude...to know such love and to feel the depth of such loss.
I have always been fascinated by the afterlife. Where do our souls go? Is it a paradise of love? Do we come back again?
Many questions float through my consciousness on this. We all face our immortality at one point or another. So that brings me back to life here and now.
As loss can grip our hearts...it can also break our hearts open...to the gifts it can teach us. The loss of my sister, my dearest friend Annabeth and Jesse have all taught me countless life love nuggets. Oh I like that...Life Love Nuggets!
Stay Present, watch the birds, speak your truth even if it’s hard, share your love, listen to music more, play more, rest more, don’t overwork, talk to them, feel them in the wind, get into nature, stay in joy as often as possible, feel all your feelings, be GRATEFUL, love love love !!! ~ Pati Reiss July 2019
