Well aren’t we all…to something? My morning latte ritual(homemade) was disrupted recently…while I was doing a cleanse.It made me stop and realize my deep attachment to the ritual, the taste and ok the caffeine…yes the BUZZ!!
This particular addiction happens to be one of my least damagingones. I am proud to say…that I am skilled at making things I likeinto the healthiest versions possible. And I share that now with agreat amount of humility. Because many years ago when my greensmoothie switched to organic wine…I knew I was in deep trouble.FYI…my pot was organic too...I am a holistic health coach for health’s sake…and I was trying to navigate my way as a Holistic Addict as well…HAH!!
I now can share this journey of the darkest despair that I haveever known….to the blissful joy I now live!My early years as a child were pretty sweet…we were generallya happy healthy family…lots of laughter and love. My father was aholistic chiropractor back in the 60’s in NY…a man ahead of histime. In 1966 he was killed in front of our home…a sight and daythat changed my life…forever! The bubble that I created aroundme (opiate response) was my protection from the horror Iwitnessed and was then living in.I first found sugar to bring into my numbing bubble …then manyyears later filled it with alcohol…then pot. It felt like…I was home. I also felt a sense of connection to God…Spirit…maybe my Dad? What I realize now…that this feeling was mostly a bio-chemical reaction to trauma and a broken brain that felt so much better with these chemicals!!
But oh that good feeling…sense of relief and connection…turned into a nightmare…I hope never to live again! My days ofdarkness were so intense…suicide felt like the only option! Howcould I think of suicide? I had two beautiful children, a family wholoved me, good friends…none of that mattered! My brain and bodywere so broken and sick that relief was all that I was seeking!A deeper look and study into the anxiety and depression I wasexperiencing…was not only a result of the trauma, divorce, finances, etc…but my own personal bio-chemical brainimbalance…really? Yes! So from my sugar addiction as a childand young adult to my alcohol, pot (a few other drugs here andthere) I can now say…”I am the keeper of a sober healthy body,brain and soul”!
Yes…they are all interconnected! Like a 3 leggedstool that cannot stand upright unless all 3 are well…mine hadbeen broken and falling over for many years.Is there hope? You bet there is! I am a living example of this.Never in my darkest days would I have thought I could feel thisway without my drugs and alcohol. As my nephew’s friendsinquired about me to him “Dude what drugs is your Aunt on”? Myjoy, bliss and humor had to be related to a drug…Not! Do I alsofeel sorrow, sadness and frustration at times? Well….yes…but they now run a much shorter course in my life…with a balanced brain. I now feed that brain with...food, nutrients, hiking, a daily spiritual practice, pausing, laughing, yoga, dance, meditation, AA, healthy relationships, giving to others and…LOVE
!PS…I still have my morning latte!!!
The Holistic Gourmet High Vibe Recovery
Addicted? Tired of a Broken Brain and Soul?There is Hope…..* High Vibe Recovery…A Brain Repair Program*
The Alliance for Addiction Solutions